Sad news

[vilts]

Hello fellow engravers,

Today I was ordering some stuff from GRS, few books etc. and their sales rep told me a shocking news. Well, at least it was shocking (and news!) to me. I guess this has been in the making for a while... They said that real soon now they'll be "merging" Lindsay engraver business with theirs.

Sometime during Q2 or Q3 of 2009 we can buy Lindsay Classic as GRS Classic, his super brilliant sharpening system as GRS sharpener set. All manufacturing will move to GRS facilities. She wasn't talking too much, but as I understood, then PalmControl units will still be made by Steve.

One good news to engravers is, that the price will drop considerably, as GRS Classic units will be produced en masse. Nothing exact is known, as he said, but price drop of around $500 USD could be realistic.

Steve, could this really be happening? Back to monopoly?

[Steve Lindsay]

Vilts, What day is it today? I was writing a long reply (a they must be dreaming reply) and happened to look at the calendar, April 1.
You're funny Vilts! You will be punished!

[airamp]

Hi Vilts,

I heard that Obama was going to give Steve a Government bailout and then impose OSHA regulations on the Classic and tax anyone that owes one 95% of the original cost for not complying to the OSHA Regs.

AirAmp

[Steve Lindsay]

AirAmp, Okay, you'll also be punished! Although, only half as bad as Vilts will be punished.

[KDavid]

I understand that under osha guidlines the air quality system will be three to four times the size of a gravermach.

[Steve Lindsay]

You customers are getting out of hand. Did you know that deep inside of each AirGraver is highly sensitive radio remote controller? With this, from my location I can control how artistic each AirGraver handpiece will engrave and even shut it off at a moments notice. You'd better be careful or I'll start adjusting the knob on yours or shut it off. Then you'd have to go back to using a 40 pound air hog machine. That will punish you.

[WVEngraver]

Originally Posted by Steve Lindsay

Did you know that deep inside of each AirGraver is highly sensitive radio remote controller?

We all know how paranoid you are Steve .... but now you are becoming delusional!!!
Every package I receive passes through a bug sweep before it comes into the bunker. There is NO radio in the Airgraver.

Hmmm .... come to think of it, the FedEx guy was wearing wingtip shoes.

[Steve Lindsay]

Originally Posted by Chris Malouf

Hmmm .... come to think of it, the FedEx guy was wearing wingtip shoes.

That is why we use FedEx for all AirGraver shipments. The wingtip shoes don't interfere with the radio transmitter in the tool.

[KeithPedersen]

Yeah and those little metal dots in the sharpening templates. When I sharpen real fast I hear music coming from my fillings. Whats up with that??????

[Eric Watson]

Radio transmitter! ! ! ! I've been playing the music loud to drown out the voices I've been hearing while engraving. Now you tell me about the RADIO TRANSMITTER. I'm cancelling my appointment with the Shrink.
Great play Vilts you had me .

[mtgraver]

Gosh Folks, Steve's pulling yer leg about the bug..............didn't you see the post of what that BUG did to PAUL!!!! Heck no wonder I can't get any engraving done, I only wish for a hammock and donuts!!!
Chris, Was that FedX guy palming a donut?
Mark........hope I ain't punished

[alf]

Vilts,
You have a weird sense of humor. I really like that in a person!!!
Fits my profile.
Al

[plat955]

LOL wow. Vilts had me going for a minute... I almost soiled my drawrs!

LOL Damn I was twitching

[Gail]

Strange,,,I kept thinking I heard my PC saying over and over "nonewname,nonewname,nonewname". I just thought I was hearing things, but I guess I wasn't.

[DGrub]

Dang Vilts!! You made my heart drop for a couple of minutes! I just had to re-read it and still did not want to believe it! LOL!
Dan Grubaugh

[Steve Ellsworth]

Actually it is true
I saw the contract

the new toys will be made of lead painted plastic

the diamond tools will be plated synthetic - guaranteed for the life of the product

the lubricating fluids will be composed of fluoridated water and other hazmat materials

they make it easier to see as your gravers will glow in the dark!

the co2 will be replaced by enormous canisters of methane gas taken straight from the rear ends of the current political administration

for those who don't want the canisters a representative from either party can be rented or bought off for a lesser price and will come equipped with sufficient tubing to allow complete mobility as the individual can follow closely behind you where ever you decide to set up shop

all forms of currency will be accepted except the American dollar which has little to no value on the open market

the tools can be engraved with a picture of the messiah of your choice


for an additional fee

each unit can be custom made with an led emergency light in the nose piece and an emergency radio receiver that never needs batteries. you simply wind up the handle and it will pull in shortwave, am and fm from countless stations world wide broadcasting bogus news reports

you can monitor the decline of the economy (and your income) in real time.

yes folks. don't wait for the disaster to come to you, order yours today.


If you order within the next ten minutes Steve will throw in a copy of his "secrets to engraving success"

This priceless booklet contains a wealth of information like:
how to melt down grandmas silverware to make rings, how to grind off made in china from any knife and remark it for a 4000 percent markup and 15 other useful trade secrets guaranteed to make you rich beyond your wildest dreams

so act now
operators are standing by to take your call

[Steve Lindsay]

How did you know Steve E? That is the exact ad I planned to run on late night TV commercials.

Just so you know, all those that are to be punished.. I'm sending the radio signals out tonight to disalign the molecules in your AirGravers. Tomorrow if you have any trouble engraving you'll know why.

Mark, I'm getting concerned about Jerry. We haven't heard from him since we saw Paul PalmControl engraving horizontal with laughing gas in his co2 bottle. I hope Paul didn't take Jerry to more late night Krispy Kream donut shops last night. Jerry may be getting so far gone with Paul and donuts that he will never be the same.

[jetta77]

OH Snap! I totally bought that when I read it vilts, I was like Oh man the Dark Side is more powerful, not that grs is the dark side, just in 2nd place.
I actually love most all engraving products and think they all have a place in our world.
Jeff

[Tom McArdle]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

most engraving balls DO look like the death star...

sort of...

Oh well, it is April 2nd where i am now!

Good night!

Tom

[Baygraver]

That was about the best April Fool's prank I've ever been the victim of. Seems like this event is universal, even in Estonia. Jim

[WVEngraver]

Mark, the presence of any donuts is still unknown but there was evidence of powdered sugar both on and inside the box.

[Ddbltrbl]

Vilts, you're a master at delivery!
My sides still hurt!

[SEngraver]

Hi Vilts,
I was soon going to get an artisan,considering what you said,will wait for the drop in price..........!!!!!!!!!!!
Ha!Ha!!!
Mo
What you say Steve ?? .

[Daniel Houwer]

He Vilts,
That was the best one ever!
My cardiologist says to rest for a few days and that a hart rate of 500 could be lethal when it stays there for to long. I was lucky to read Steve's post before any damage was done.

[Peter]

That was more than funny Vilts.

I have to admit... I was fooled for a bit.

Peter

[jack]

I think you guys have been working in your dugouts too long. Jack

[vilts]

Well, I'm glad I could fool some of you this year

But, I got 100% jackpot last year with basically same 'news'. Last year, after I posted this news, then it was removed quite fast from forum. At first I thought this is so obvious and that Steve would be the last person on Earth to be fooled by this (and remove the thread). But no. I got him . He almost got heart attack or something.

Steve, you still remember it, right?

Vilts

[Steve Lindsay]

Vilts you are bad!
At first when I saw this new thread and your post I thought I should delete it, but that would do no good because it had already been up for an hour and it had a count of 39 views. I then though my only other option is to reply and say that whoever gave you this story was giving you a line and was all wet. While writing that I remembered it seemed like someone else posted a message like this a long time ago. I couldn't remember who or what I did about it though. And then it hit me, that it is April 1st and Vilts is playing a joke. Boy, what a relief that was! I do now remember that it was you playing the same joke a year ago. I'll bet I won't fall for it again next year though!

Did you notice your engraving is not working so well today? I sent some punishment radio signals to your PalmControl last night as well as subliminal voices that will be heard through the tool while you are engraving.

[Tom McArdle]

Hey Steve!

Can you play some Phil Coggan,

Uh, uh, I, I mean Phil COLLINS through mine!?



Tom